Parent Night

It's parent night at camp Yomi. I'm exhausted from the week, but it's only teusday, and oh fuck, there's still another three days and I can barely move. The regular activities have ended for the night and Units one and two have loaded the buses and headed home to their comfortable air conditioned homes where their nannies will bathe them and make them dinner.
I'm still here though. I'm still wearing my wet bathing suit bottoms which are soaking through my shorts. I sit on our groups' broken picnic table, and think about how nice and dry my ass would feel if I had remembered to bring clean underwear.
The parents arrive about seven, and we wait in the shelter for the parents to arrive. Zoe's Mothers are the first to arrive. Barbera is a woman with very short grey hair, a large t-shirt, and long jean shorts. She's just taken off her base ball hat, and maybe I'm imagining it, but I think she's also carrying a bat. Her partner, whos name I dont catch, is the femme (but still not all that feminine)one. She's wearing an orange shirt and bermuda shorts. Her hair which has been allowed to grow down to her ears is curly and brown. Zoey, with her tanned little body, silky dark hair, and almond eyes, was adopted from china. She's beautiful little girl even in the oversized T-shirts and baseball hats her mothers dress her in.
I notice Max's parents tugging along another little boy almaost identical to Maximum Speed himself. "This is Miles, Maxs' little brother, He's five" His mother tells me. Miles reminds me of an adorable little grenade. As his parents let go of his hands he shoots of in search of a stick or rock or something to throw. His mother snatches it away an he lets out a long high pitched scream. "Give Mommy, the stick honey" Maxs' mother says to Miles. Miles throws the stick at her head. She dodges it, grabs his hand, and marches him off out of the shelter, Max's father trailing behind with Max, who has a proud smirk on his face.
There are two activities planned for the night. They will begin after the parents and children finish their picnics. I notice the gay pride picnic blanket, where Zoeys' Mothers sit with Ariels' mothers, and Emma's Daddies. Emma's Daddies have brought their very large doughter a meat ball sub. They wear sipmle T-shirts and shorts. They are relaxed, loving men, in bronzer and concealer. They are a stark contrast to the agressive mothers, who can't seem to sit stil, constantly tossing baseballs or tapping their feet.
The last one left is Sadie. She sits on the picnic bench with Michael the CIT. Mike and I stand a little outside of the shelter, sipping awful cherry punch which tastes purely of chemicals and includes the words "contains no actual fruit juice" on it's label. We hear Sadie tell Michael her daddy "is a lawyer, he doesnt have time to me, thats why he;s always late". Mike and I can't halp but laugh at this comment. Michael seems genuinely concerned, or atleast as concerned as his mental and emotional capacities will allow. Finaly a man in a business suit, carrying a starbucks bag runs toward the shelter. He sits down next to Sadie, quietly telling the poor little girl with tears swimming in her blue eyes "Daddy forgot to pack a picnic, does you want a piece of muffin?"
"What a fucking cliche" Mike seems to say without words.
It's time for the first activity. The Mothers on the Gay pride picnic blanket, are pumped for basebell, the jump up, their own mits and bats in tow, cheering their scared little girls on with endless enthusiasm. The fathers' lag behind, gathering their sun chairs.
"Give her something to hit!!!!!!!!!!!" Barbara screams at the pitcher, as Zoey strikes out. None of the other mothers are paying attention. Davids' mother approaches me. She's wearing Eileen Fsiher and a dazed smile. "My son David has been having some trouble with that boy Elias"
"Yes I know Elias, and I know there's been some trouble"
"whose fault is it, is this Elias child a little troublesome?" shea asks in a sleepy sedated voice
"I'd have to say they're both a little troublsome, David likes to head butt, and I think he picked it up from Elias"
"Oh no no no, I don't want my child head butting anyone. Please next time he does it, you just tell him no. Take his hands firmly in yours and tell him 'No. We do not head but. Head butting is not for little boys to do'. YOu be firm but gentle with him. Please do it discreetly"
"yea alright" Mike says from behind me "It's all Elais really I think".
I don't really want to get into it in front of this woman, whos obviously on Valium or something, but Mike is quite wrong. Both children are fucking nuts. Mike, however, strongly dislikes Elias because it takes hime "fucking twenty miuntes to get out of his idiotic wet suit" during swim.
It's already dark bythe time we get to our second acitvity; Karate. Mike, Michael, and I sit on the grass. It's a nice night. The warm air and fireflies reminds me its'
mid-July. Everything seems calm and peaceful for a moment. We eat the peaches they gave us earlier that afternoon and laugh quietly while watching blonde little Mark try to kick in the air. Mike always calls him a woman.
Earlier that day in low ropes, the Israeli guys tought the group a dance. It was Marcs'turn. We started to sing. "here comes Marc, riding on a donkey, riding on a big fat donkey, here come MArc riding on a donkey, and this is how it goes:" Marc began to wiggle his butt. "front, front baby" he shimmies "side side baby" He wiggle some more "back back baby". The boys love to wiggle their little buts like J-lo.
We're still enjoying th embiance, sitting next to Emma;s Daddies on the grass when we hear loud screams from the gaga pit. Fucking ELias and Mathew.
Theres a lot of commotion and yelling. Entualy Elias's mother mother makes him apologize for hitting Mathew, and Mathew stops crying. Mathews mother shoots Eliass' mother a dirty look. Miles, meanwhile seems to be attacking his father on the other side of the feild.
"Every one seems to be getting a little restless" One of Emmas' Daddies says quietly. "I think it's time we headed home. I heard theres a snack. Is there a snack?"
"maybe some ices" I tell him
"oh really?"
"yea, but nothing too good, I;m not sure it;s worth it"
I find him three marino Italian ices
"well it's not cio bella, but it will do" he says taking them.
Mike, Michael and I get our bags from the shelter and walk slowly towards the buses.
"No wonder Max is so fucked up" Micheal says. We nod. I start laughing really hard, and I can;t seem to stop myself. I keep picturing Miles punching his fathers leg.
-chez